Overheard: My Handy Helper...

I give Jake a glass and two small bowls from snack time to take into the kitchen to put into the sink as we are finishing tidying up the living room. All the sudden I hear the garbage can lid opening.

Me: Jake! What are you doing?!

J: *pause* Um... Putting the cup in the garbage?

Me: WHY???

J: That's what you told me to do?

Me: No, I didn't. I said put them in the sink. Yikes! I just bought those glasses, dude.

J: Ooops!

I wonder how many cups/bowls/plates he's thrown into the garbage since he's started helping me clean the house?

Clever, Clever!

Me, While getting Jake a snack before bedtime: *singing* Hello my honey, Hello my baby, Hello my Jakey-guy!!!

Jake: Hello my honey, Hello my baby, Hello my mommy-woman!

Me: *Uncontrollable laughter, big smooch on his face* You clever boy!

Jake: Mommy, You're my best friend.

Me: You're my best friend too, Jakey.

Post-Ticklus...

Jake, sitting awkwardly astraddle my legs, grabbing the pull strings on my hoodie and bouncing on me: "Giddy up, horsie!"

Me: "Nooooo. You've exhausted me. Mommy is tired."

Jake: "But, I am the cowboy. And you are the horsie.

*pause*

The ooooooold horsie."

Me: "You say the nicest things. That's a definite "No"."

Jake: "Aaaawwwwhh!"

Why Having a Toddler is Like Being at a Frat Party...

Grabbed this off of Shit My Kids Ruined. It's a great website that makes me laugh and cringe at the same time.


10. There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.

9. There’s always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.

8. It’s best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.

7. You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone’s going to start banging on the door.

6. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.

5. You’ve got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.

4. There’s definitely going to be a fight.

3. You’re not sure whether anything you’re doing is right, you just hope it won’t get you arrested.

2. There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.

1. You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.

It's a Magical Mystery Tour...

In a conversation on the phone today with my friend Heather, (in a roundabout way of course) we started to discuss John Lennon, and in particular his son Julian Lennon (who btw, he was apparently a huge douchebag towards.) and Julian's mother Cynthia Lennon, where I read a quote about Cynthia and Yoko's relationship with each other. I'm just going to quote it here, copied and pasted directly from Wikipedia.

Ono's relationship with John Lennon's first wife, Cynthia Lennon remains strained. In her 2006 biography, John, (London: Hodder; U.S.: Crown Publishing) Cynthia Lennon portrays Ono as a selfish, spiteful woman. In the book, she describes learning about Ono's control over John (who referred to Ono as "mother") in the period in the mid-1970s when Ono chose May Pang to be John's companion. Cynthia hypothesizes that John had a "mother complex," allowing himself to be dominated by strong women and draws a parallel between his relationship with Ono and that with his domineering aunt Mimi Smith in childhood.^{[verification needed]}

Wait, I'm sorry... What? He referred to Yoko Ono as "Mother"? Really?! And he was banging her?

Think about that for a moment. "Mother."

Okay, I'm never going to be able to think of John Lennon in the same context ever again, I just have his lazy Liverpool accent running over and over in my head (with an echo no less!) saying "Oh, Mother!" and I feel like vomiting. John Lennon had an Oedipus complex, really?! With YOKO ONO. Eeeeewwwwwww.

Anyone that knows me well knows I married a man almost 16 years my senior. That's right, I'm 30, and my husband is 46. It's not something that I was actively looking for, I wasn't on the prowl for a hot silver fox or anything like that, he just happened to be the right person at the right time in my life, and things worked out for themselves. I'm sure people don't care, and judge me regardless. Whatever, it's my life not theirs..

I'm also pretty certain that everybody and their dog thinks I have an Oedipus complex of my own, but the truth is, it couldn't be any farther from the truth. I actually get really annoyed when Cliff tries to "daddy" me, (as in by trying to teach me or boss me around like I'm a kid) and if he asked me "Who's your daddy?" mid-coitus, I'd probably throw him off and make a wild dash for the nearest toilet to heave my dirty feelings away.

Cliff has more in common with my maternal grandfather (from what I know of him, I wasn't super close to him when he was alive) than my Dad anyways. both are flytyers, both avid fishermen, both love hockey and world war 1 and 2 history documentaries, both fall asleep on the couch after a long day at work and snort indignantly when I attempt to change the channel, saying "I was watching that!" when they and I both know they were sleeping.

And Hey!!! That doesn't mean I wanted to fuck my Grandpa, either.

I'll just stick with Harrison, since he was the quiet cute one in The Beatles.

Even if he does look like Spock in this picture.

Current music: Que Onda Guero - Beck
Album: Guero

Words of Wisdom...

“Tell a child, a husband or an employee that he is stupid or dumb at a certain thing, that he has no gift for it, and that he is doing it all wrong and you have destroyed almost every incentive to try to improve. But use the opposite technique, be liberal with encouragement; make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an undeveloped flair for it -- and he will practice until the dawn comes in at the window in order to excel." - Dale Carnegie