Cat: Oh Hai! You wanted to sleep, so I knocked over something loud and suspicious sounding downstairs while you were drifting off, then meowed pitifully a few times so you thought it was squishing me - Even though I'm totally fine and just wanted you to get up and play, play, play! Also, I'm going to wind my body in figure eights around your ankles while you try to find out what mystery item I sent careening to the ground. Especially while your trying to walk down the stairs! (You'll never find out what it was though, its a MYSTERY SURPRISE!) I hope you don't mind! Me-wow! I'm your adorable Kitty! Hey can I have some food?
Me: *sigh* ...Cat.